Copyediting Choice Band Mamoswine (Ground) [QC 2/2] [GP 0/1]

[RodentTamer]

[SET]
Choice Band (Ground)
Mamoswine @ Choice Band
Ability: Thick Fat
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Icicle Crash
- Ice Shard
- Earthquake
- Knock Off / Superpower

[SET COMMENTS]

Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams, thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it, such as Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items, such as Corviknight, Porygon2, and Celesteela, making them much easier for Mamoswine to take advantage of later on. Alternatively, Superpower is Mamoswine’s best option for beating bulky Pokemon such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine beat airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W with Gravity. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards, allowing it to net more KOs. They also can rack up chip damage with Whirlwind, and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm for further residual damage. Clodsire and Gastrodon can safely switch into Water-type moves that can threaten Mamoswine. They both also have access to entry hazards to help Mamoswine's wallbreaking. Clodsire, in particular, is also able to switch into Grass-type attacks from the likes of Choice Scarf Meowscarada, Ogerpon-W, and Brambleghast because of its defensive typing, as well as inflicting status and setting up Toxic Spikes, making it hard for stall Pokemon such as Slowbro, Ting-Lu, and Blissey to stay in the game as much as they plan to. Gastrodon is an excellent Water Absorb user that can ease up Water-type matchups for Mamoswine. That being said, it can safely wall Water-type Pokemon such as Choice Specs Walking Wake, Dondozo, and Mega Swampert with the proper moveset.

Written By:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/rodenttamer.655366/

Quality Checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/crossheart.593863/
Grammar Checked by:

 

[CaptainDaimyo]

Reserving for AMQC

 

[Mateeus]

read the format thread RodentTamer

 

[RodentTamer]

read the format thread RodentTamer

do i combine the two paragraphs? otherwise i followed the format exactly, i’m not sure what you’re telling me is wrong.

 

[Mateeus]

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threa...analyses-resources-and-announcements.3718752/

our format is different than regular mono's

 

[RodentTamer]

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threa...analyses-resources-and-announcements.3718752/

our format is different than regular mono's

implemented

 

[RodentTamer]

Anyone can QC this now

 

[Mateeus]

-> Move order should be Icicle Crash, EQ, Shard, Knock / Superpower;
-> You could say "Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams because of its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with" instead of what you have in the introductory sentence;
-> Icicle Crash is obvious stab, so its sentence should be removed;
-> Ice Shard, and it doesn't pick ESpeed Dragonite if weakened; a better example like Thundurus-T or Latios could work better there;
-> List relevant Pokemon that Knock Off cripple by removing their items. Eviolite Porygon2, Leftovers from a myriad of things (Celesteela comes to mind) and others should work great as examples;
-> Remove the "while also hitting Psychic-, and Ghost- type threats..." part of the description. EQ + Crash hits every one of these harder;
-> EQ already nails Rock-types; instead, Superpower should be mentioned as a move that deals the most damage to threats like Ferrothorn, Chansey, and Rotom-W;
-> Since the EV spread is just max/max, there's no business describing it;
-> Grass Knot is not a move ran commonly by Lando-I; remove its mention;
-> Similarly, Garchomp doesn't (rarely) run SR on Ground. Instead, say that sweepers like Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill (mesh both together as they're part of the same category) appreciate Mamoswine wearing down walls such as... so they can clean up late-game;
-> Add entry hazard setters like Ting-Lu and Hippowdon as potential teammates.

Make these changes and I'll take another look

 

[RodentTamer]

-> Move order should be Icicle Crash, EQ, Shard, Knock / Superpower;
-> You could say "Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams because of its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with" instead of what you have in the introductory sentence;
-> Icicle Crash is obvious stab, so its sentence should be removed;
-> Ice Shard, and it doesn't pick ESpeed Dragonite if weakened; a better example like Thundurus-T or Latios could work better there;
-> List relevant Pokemon that Knock Off cripple by removing their items. Eviolite Porygon2, Leftovers from a myriad of things (Celesteela comes to mind) and others should work great as examples;
-> Remove the "while also hitting Psychic-, and Ghost- type threats..." part of the description. EQ + Crash hits every one of these harder;
-> EQ already nails Rock-types; instead, Superpower should be mentioned as a move that deals the most damage to threats like Ferrothorn, Chansey, and Rotom-W;
-> Since the EV spread is just max/max, there's no business describing it;
-> Grass Knot is not a move ran commonly by Lando-I; remove its mention;
-> Similarly, Garchomp doesn't (rarely) run SR on Ground. Instead, say that sweepers like Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill (mesh both together as they're part of the same category) appreciate Mamoswine wearing down walls such as... so they can clean up late-game;
-> Add entry hazard setters like Ting-Lu and Hippowdon as potential teammates.

Make these changes and I'll take another look

implemented

 

[Mateeus]

add remove comment

Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Earthquake is a common STAB move for Mamoswine, and thanks to its monstrous Physical Attack stat boosted with Choice Band, Mamoswine can guarantee a OHKO Rock-type Pokemon such as Garganacl, Mega Tyranitar, and Mega Diancie. (Like Icicle Crash, EQ is an obvious STAB move which doesn't need description) Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Toxapex Corviknight, Porygon-2 Porygon2, and Gliscor Celesteela (Gliscor is already threatened by Icicle Crash and Toxapex by EQ), making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of and KO them later on. While optional, Superpower is a decently good move for threatening Mamoswine's best move against the likes of bulky Pokemon in the metagame such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as Landorus it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine be allowed to hit Flying-type airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W and Pokemon with the Levitate ability with Gravity. such as Skarmory, Corviknight, and Celesteela, while also providing coverage with Psychic and Sludge Bomb to scare off annoying Grass-type Pokemon that can threaten Mamoswine. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill are great sweepers that appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. can clean up lategame for Mamoswine with their ability to hit numerous threats that Mamoswine cannot, notably Rotom-F, Mega Glalie, and Alolan Dugtrio. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon are both great set up Pokemon entry hazard setters that help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. With Ting-Lu being able to set up entry hazards while They're also able to rack up racking up chip damage with Whirlwind, to Hippowdon setting up and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm while stalling out Pokemon it isn’t weak to for further residual damage.

qc 1/2

 

[RodentTamer]

add remove comment

Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Earthquake is a common STAB move for Mamoswine, and thanks to its monstrous Physical Attack stat boosted with Choice Band, Mamoswine can guarantee a OHKO Rock-type Pokemon such as Garganacl, Mega Tyranitar, and Mega Diancie. (Like Icicle Crash, EQ is an obvious STAB move which doesn't need description) Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Toxapex Corviknight, Porygon-2 Porygon2, and Gliscor Celesteela (Gliscor is already threatened by Icicle Crash and Toxapex by EQ), making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of and KO them later on. While optional, Superpower is a decently good move for threatening Mamoswine's best move against the likes of bulky Pokemon in the metagame such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as Landorus it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine be allowed to hit Flying-type airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W and Pokemon with the Levitate ability with Gravity. such as Skarmory, Corviknight, and Celesteela, while also providing coverage with Psychic and Sludge Bomb to scare off annoying Grass-type Pokemon that can threaten Mamoswine. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill are great sweepers that appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. can clean up lategame for Mamoswine with their ability to hit numerous threats that Mamoswine cannot, notably Rotom-F, Mega Glalie, and Alolan Dugtrio. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon are both great set up Pokemon entry hazard setters that help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. With Ting-Lu being able to set up entry hazards while They're also able to rack up racking up chip damage with Whirlwind, to Hippowdon setting up and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm while stalling out Pokemon it isn’t weak to for further residual damage.

qc 1/2

implemented and thank you for the suggestions

 

[CrossHeart]

add remove comment

generation swine

[SET COMMENTS]
Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as, (remove comma after "such as") Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Corviknight, Porygon2, and Celesteela, making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of later on. While optional, Alternatively, Superpower is Mamoswine’s best option for beating the likes of bulky Pokemon such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine beat airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W with Gravity. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. They're also able to rack up chip damage with Whirlwind, and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm for further residual damage. (mention Clodsire/Gastrodon/Seismitoad as teammates as they all switch into Water-type moves for Mamo, all 3 also can set hazards in Toxic Spikes, Spikes and Stealth Rock respectively, while Clodsire can even switch into Grass-type coverage and remove opposing Toxic Spikes for Ground teams)

Written By:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/rodenttamer.655366/

Quality Checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar Checked by:

Will check again after the above changes are made

 

[RodentTamer]

add remove comment

generation swine

[SET COMMENTS]
Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as, (remove comma after "such as") Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Corviknight, Porygon2, and Celesteela, making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of later on. While optional, Alternatively, Superpower is Mamoswine’s best option for beating the likes of bulky Pokemon such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine beat airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W with Gravity. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. They're also able to rack up chip damage with Whirlwind, and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm for further residual damage. (mention Clodsire/Gastrodon/Seismitoad as teammates as they all switch into Water-type moves for Mamo, all 3 also can set hazards in Toxic Spikes, Spikes and Stealth Rock respectively, while Clodsire can even switch into Grass-type coverage and remove opposing Toxic Spikes for Ground teams)

Written By:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/rodenttamer.655366/

Quality Checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar Checked by:

Will check again after the above changes are made

implemented and added

please double check your edits, you have missed some comments

 

[RodentTamer]

Neko fixed

 

[RodentTamer]

add remove comment

generation swine

[SET COMMENTS]
Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as, (remove comma after "such as") Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Corviknight, Porygon2, and Celesteela, making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of later on. While optional, Alternatively, Superpower is Mamoswine’s best option for beating the likes of bulky Pokemon such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine beat airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W with Gravity. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. They're also able to rack up chip damage with Whirlwind, and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm for further residual damage. (mention Clodsire/Gastrodon/Seismitoad as teammates as they all switch into Water-type moves for Mamo, all 3 also can set hazards in Toxic Spikes, Spikes and Stealth Rock respectively, while Clodsire can even switch into Grass-type coverage and remove opposing Toxic Spikes for Ground teams)

Written By:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/rodenttamer.655366/

Quality Checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar Checked by:

Will check again after the above changes are made

i’ve implemented everything

 

[CrossHeart]

add remove comment

part 2

[SET COMMENTS]
Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Corviknight, Porygon2, and Celesteela, making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of later on. Alternatively, Superpower is Mamoswine’s best option for beating the likes of bulky Pokemon such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine beat airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W with Gravity. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. They're also able to rack up chip damage with Whirlwind, and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm for further residual damage.
Clodsire and Gastrodon can safely switch into Water-type moves that can threaten Mamoswine. They both also have access to entry hazards to help Mamoswine's wallbreaking, and Clodsire in particular is also able to switch into Grass-type attacks from the likes of Choice Scarf Meowscarada, Hisuian Lilligant and Whimsicott Ogerpon-W and Brambleghast while also removing Toxic Spikes because of its defensive typing. (Whimsicott doesn't use that coverage usually and Hisuian Lilligant breaks regardless with Ice Spinner) Gastrodon is an excellent Water Absorb user that can ease up Water-type matchups for Mamoswine, that being said, it can safely wall Water-type Pokemon such as Choice Specs Walking Wake Greninja, Dondozo, and Mega Swampert Gyarados with the proper moveset EVs and IV investments. (Greninja having access to Grass Knot makes that example shaky, Mega Gyarados breaks regardless, never mind Mold Breaker access) Clodsire can also take care of Grass-type Pokemon while also inflicting Status onto the opposing team, making it much harder for stall Pokemon such as Slowbro, Ting-Lu, and Blissey to stay in game as much as they plan to, and to make matters even worse, it can set up Toxic Spikes, which would be a nightmare for opposing teams if they don’t have any Steel-type coverage, Heavy-Duty Boots, or any Pokemon to get them off the field. (this sentence is out of place and mere fluff when you could have condensed it into the previous sentences that mentioned Clodsire)

Written By:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/rodenttamer.655366/

Quality Checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar Checked by:

Implement all of the above and you get QC 2/2, thank you for your work

 

[RodentTamer]

add remove comment

part 2

[SET COMMENTS]
Mamoswine is an incredible Choice Band user for Ground-type teams thanks to its raw power and excellent STAB coverage, making it a force to be reckoned with. Ice Shard is a very important priority move for Mamoswine to have, as it helps Mamoswine to pick off faster Pokemon that could threaten it such as Thundurus-Therian, Enamorus, and Choice Scarf Latias. Knock Off heavily weakens Pokemon reliant on their items such as Corviknight, Porygon2, and Celesteela, making them much more easy for Mamoswine to take advantage of later on. Alternatively, Superpower is Mamoswine’s best option for beating the likes of bulky Pokemon such as Blissey, Ferrothorn, and Rotom-W. Landorus is an outstanding teammate for Mamoswine to have, as it can threaten physical walls Mamoswine would rather not face, such as Mega Venusaur, Tapu Fini, and Slowbro, by virtue of its coverage, and help Mamoswine beat airborne Pokemon such as Skarmory and Rotom-W with Gravity. Scale Shot Mega Garchomp and Sand Rush Excadrill appreciate Mamoswine wearing down bulky Pokemon such as Celesteela and Gliscor for them to clean up late-game. Ting-Lu and Hippowdon help Mamoswine do its job more effectively by being able to set up entry hazards so it can net more KOs. They're also able to rack up chip damage with Whirlwind, and Hippowdon in particular also sets Sandstorm for further residual damage.
Clodsire and Gastrodon can safely switch into Water-type moves that can threaten Mamoswine. They both also have access to entry hazards to help Mamoswine's wallbreaking, and Clodsire in particular is also able to switch into Grass-type attacks from the likes of Choice Scarf Meowscarada, Hisuian Lilligant and Whimsicott Ogerpon-W and Brambleghast while also removing Toxic Spikes because of its defensive typing. (Whimsicott doesn't use that coverage usually and Hisuian Lilligant breaks regardless with Ice Spinner) Gastrodon is an excellent Water Absorb user that can ease up Water-type matchups for Mamoswine, that being said, it can safely wall Water-type Pokemon such as Choice Specs Walking Wake Greninja, Dondozo, and Mega Swampert Gyarados with the proper moveset EVs and IV investments. (Greninja having access to Grass Knot makes that example shaky, Mega Gyarados breaks regardless, never mind Mold Breaker access) Clodsire can also take care of Grass-type Pokemon while also inflicting Status onto the opposing team, making it much harder for stall Pokemon such as Slowbro, Ting-Lu, and Blissey to stay in game as much as they plan to, and to make matters even worse, it can set up Toxic Spikes, which would be a nightmare for opposing teams if they don’t have any Steel-type coverage, Heavy-Duty Boots, or any Pokemon to get them off the field. (this sentence is out of place and mere fluff when you could have condensed it into the previous sentences that mentioned Clodsire)

Written By:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/rodenttamer.655366/

Quality Checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/mateeus.321991/
Grammar Checked by:

Implement all of the above and you get QC 2/2, thank you for your work

implemented and no problem

 

[RodentTamer]

GP Team