Mandibuzz QC [0/2]

[matte]

Mandibuzz @ Heavy-Duty Boots
Ability: Unaware
EVs: 248 HP / 252 Def / 8 SpD
IVs: 0 Spe
Relaxed Nature
- Foul Play
- U-turn / Defog / Knock-Off
- Toxic
- Roost

Unaware ignores stat boosts, but Foul Play takes the target's own boosts and uses them against them. This lets Mandibuzz check things like, Gouging Fire and Ogerpon-Wellspring. U-turn ensures that Mandibuzz isn't overly passive, and can create momentum for your offensive pokemon to enter the field. Its able to take advantage of passive switches like Corviknight which normally wall Mandibuzz. Toxic threatens opposing walls, and can help chip them down to get into range of your partners attacks. Roost gives longevity, ensuring that Mandibuzz is able to consistently wall things. 0 Speed Ivs give you the slowest pivot possible, but you can run 31 if not running U-turn.

Defog can be ran over U-turn on bulkier teams, that don't need momentum and serves as good role compression. <--- possible slash? it wasn't mentioned in the sample set.

Mandibuzz is a defensive pokemon, that is able to wall many things, with its typing, good defensive stats, and ability. Being able to check alot of sweepers with its general bulk like Polteageist, Ogerpon-Wellspring and Hearthflame and Ceruledge. Its also able to check the multitude of Psychic spam in the tier, like Scarf Azelf and Specs Deo-s. Mandibuzz pairs well with RegenVest Swampert. Swampert gives an immunity to Electric moves, and also can take special hits. Mandibuzz is immune to Expanding force and resists Grass which Swampert is 4x weak too. which is one way to overwhelm Swampert. You can scout the move with Swampert, then switch back out to be immune to the next attack. Mandibuzz also absorbs Knock-Off better, which Swampert hates its Assault Vest being removed. Unaware can help with the setup sweepers that get out of control. Mandibuzz also pairs well with Fluffy/Intimidate Corviknight. Mandibuzz has enough bulk to beat setup sweepers but unaware doesn't do anything versus a strong breaker like Roaring Moon. Corviknight's higher bulk thanks to its defensive ability, is able to deal with the strong breakers like Roaring Moon, and Barraskewda. This also frees one of Mandibuzz's moveslots up, as it doesn't need the momentum creating U-turn and can sub it out for something like Iron Defence or Knock-Off.

[SET CREDITS]
Written by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/matte.634393/
Quality checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/user3.102/
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/user4.103/
Grammar checked by:
https://www.smogon.com/forums/members/user5.104/

 

[Isaiah]

I'm going to have to give this a QC Rejection, and this set will be put back into the pool for reservation. To help put into perspective why this is happening and hopefully give you guidelines for future writing, here's an outline:

• Every set must have a name. In this case, the very first line should be written out as "Unaware (Mandibuzz) @ Heavy-Duty Boots"
• Analyses should minimize nonessential "dex info"--that is, information like " Unaware ignores stat boosts, but Foul Play takes the target's own boosts and uses them against them" that just defines what a move/ability/item is superfluous and should be left out unless it is paired with specific examples or a scenario that makes it particularly noteworthy for this set.
• Following the template is generally not optional.
  • The mini analysis template (at the bottom of the reservation thread OP) lists everything to cover in a specific order and is a pretty reasonable train of thought (overview -> explain moves -> explain EV spread -> teams to put this on -> threats to worry about). You have some of these elements in your analysis, but there are big gaps where examples need to be specified and aren't, such as "U-turn ensures that Mandibuzz isn't overly passive, and can create momentum for your offensive pokemon to enter the field." (which offensive Pokemon?) and " Toxic threatens opposing walls" (which ones?). As it currently stands, your analysis is just a list of facts and definitions about the moves in the set and Mandibuzz. There's not much of a voice explaining why I would want Mandibuzz to be on my team, what I should consider while building with it, or even specific examples of how it fits in along with the other Pokemon in the metagame. Re-assigning this to someone will just require them to start over because there's just not a ton of substance.
  • Move order is somewhat subjective, but since I would've changed this in a regular QC check anyway I'll point out that the order for a set like this should be "Foul Play / Roost / Toxic / U-turn = Defog = Knock Off" Because the first three moves are considered mandatory (none of them are slashed) and are integral to how the set functions--at least, unless it gets changed after discussion/QC.
    

The goal of this isn't to stop you from writing completely, and hopefully by reading more into the guidelines for analyses (and maybe looking into examples of published ones, preferably within the same metagame) we can see enough improvement for you to reserve sets in the future.

 

[Isaiah]

matte just making sure you see this, forgot to ping