chuckaboomboom
I believe I can HM02
I currently have an article in the workshop that I'm working on, so this isn't an article that I'll be writing for the current issue of the Smog. I just want to post my idea, make any necessary modifications to it, and try to get it approved so that I'll have ideas at hand for future editorials.
If Your Pokemon Could Talk:
As Pokemon trainers, we can all vouch that we all take the greatest care of our Pokemon. We beat them up, lock them into capsules the size of a tennis ball, and force them to beat up their brethren. Finally, they reach the end of the journey, as they have beaten the Pokemon champion! And then they remain forever in the lethargic hell that is the Pokemon Center’s PC system. All in all, we take great care of our treasured friends, and we only have words or praise for them (except for the HM slave). However, if your Pokemon could talk to you, well…
Basically any Pokemon:
You do know that I have a finally back at home in Viridian Forest, right? I really don’t care for your company. Like, do I have rights? What happened to liberty, and equality, and minimum wage?
A Pokemon in a Pokeball
I’m claustrophobic!
A Pokemon Luxury ball
How is this luxurious? It’s so cramped!
A Pokemon Master ball
This is way worse than a regular Pokeball. The sides are so tight… There’s only one of these uncomfortable hell-holes in existence, and you had to use it on me?
A Mega-Kang
Stop making me mega evolve and give my baby a break. Do you think that it appreciates hand-to-hand combat?
A Mega-Slowbro
Do you think I enjoy balancing my 10 tonne body on my tail? I’m not in Cirque du Soleil.
A Pokemon during Pokemon-Amie
Eww… I’m grown up, you know.
A Pokemon at a Pokemon center
A relaxing spa with a pretty girl to look after you, what more could you want
A Pokemon when it’s surfing
You’re fat
A Pokemon when it’s flying
You’re really fat
A Pokemon when it used strength
Why do I need to learn the move strength? Can’t I just move it with my body?
A Pokemon when it used cut
Cringe, cringe, cringe. I can’t believe I was caught by a person who can’t step over that little tree.
A Pokemon using flame charge
This girl is on fire!!!
A Pokemon using fire punch
This girl is on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Pokemon using Flare blitz
This girl and everything else is on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Pokemon using V-create
This girl… Why’s everything engulfed in flames?
When you use rest
Ah, rest, finally.
When it eats its chesto berry
You %&$#?@! How about some @$#& sleep huh? Slave driver
Fighting a shinx with intimidate
I’m not intimidated…
I have further ideas as well. Thanks for your consideration!
If Your Pokemon Could Talk:
As Pokemon trainers, we can all vouch that we all take the greatest care of our Pokemon. We beat them up, lock them into capsules the size of a tennis ball, and force them to beat up their brethren. Finally, they reach the end of the journey, as they have beaten the Pokemon champion! And then they remain forever in the lethargic hell that is the Pokemon Center’s PC system. All in all, we take great care of our treasured friends, and we only have words or praise for them (except for the HM slave). However, if your Pokemon could talk to you, well…
Basically any Pokemon:
You do know that I have a finally back at home in Viridian Forest, right? I really don’t care for your company. Like, do I have rights? What happened to liberty, and equality, and minimum wage?
A Pokemon in a Pokeball
I’m claustrophobic!
A Pokemon Luxury ball
How is this luxurious? It’s so cramped!
A Pokemon Master ball
This is way worse than a regular Pokeball. The sides are so tight… There’s only one of these uncomfortable hell-holes in existence, and you had to use it on me?
A Mega-Kang
Stop making me mega evolve and give my baby a break. Do you think that it appreciates hand-to-hand combat?
A Mega-Slowbro
Do you think I enjoy balancing my 10 tonne body on my tail? I’m not in Cirque du Soleil.
A Pokemon during Pokemon-Amie
Eww… I’m grown up, you know.
A Pokemon at a Pokemon center
A relaxing spa with a pretty girl to look after you, what more could you want
A Pokemon when it’s surfing
You’re fat
A Pokemon when it’s flying
You’re really fat
A Pokemon when it used strength
Why do I need to learn the move strength? Can’t I just move it with my body?
A Pokemon when it used cut
Cringe, cringe, cringe. I can’t believe I was caught by a person who can’t step over that little tree.
A Pokemon using flame charge
This girl is on fire!!!
A Pokemon using fire punch
This girl is on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Pokemon using Flare blitz
This girl and everything else is on fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Pokemon using V-create
This girl… Why’s everything engulfed in flames?
When you use rest
Ah, rest, finally.
When it eats its chesto berry
You %&$#?@! How about some @$#& sleep huh? Slave driver
Fighting a shinx with intimidate
I’m not intimidated…
I have further ideas as well. Thanks for your consideration!
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