Gonna comment on a couple things others have said and then give my own experience with this and then reply to you directly, Flamewheeler, since I think the best advice I'm going to be able to give here is anecdotal.
If your friends are truly your friends, they will accept you for being bi/gay. To be brutally honest, quite a few of them won't bat an eyelash. I had a fairly close friend who came out as gay in his senior year of high school, and I was more concerned about my C in physics than his sexuality, to say the least.
I think mtr is right here. I mean, you've gotta be the judge of your own friends - I imagine it'd pretty easy to figure out how well they'll react. It's always a little easier to explain the whole sexuality thing to people who already like you; the difference between "[Flamewheeler], who happens to be gay/bi" and "[Flamewheeler], that gay guy" tends to make a world of difference winning people over.
For me, I came out to my friends near the end of my senior year of high school, so I was recently 18, I think? I was stressed about it, especially since my best friend of 10 years came from a family that wasn't too open to this sort of thing(more on them later) and I was worried that he might be much the same. I wasn't as worried about most of my other friends - the girls were all into theatre and we gays are sort of irreplaceable in that field, and I wasn't as close with my other guy friends. Even though I thought the risk/reward was pretty good, it took me a while to man up and do it since I didn't think there was much benefit to going for it. They'd never have guessed on their own - I'm not much what one would say is "flamboyant," and I had a girlfriend(stop judging me ok I'm sorry) for the first couple years of high school(eventually the cheerleader captain thinger, I might add...), so I had built myself a nice little nest. I tended to be pretty cowardly about this sort of thing when I was younger.
Anyway, I kinda subtly dropped hints for a while to ease them into it, but when I came out with it, it really wasn't a big thing. No one really batted an eyelash about it... we joked about it for a bit, which means it was a little too much on people's minds, but it was never an issue for any of them. Much ado about nothing for me, though it was nice to know I could actually trust/believe in the people I thought I could believe in on some level. I felt a little better afterward since it's nice not to have to worry about them "finding out" or whatever, though I've never really minded much when it's been convenient for me to hide it. I think I would advise doing it if you think you can deal with potential consequences, though if you don't want to tell your family the risk of it getting back to them is worth considering, too. It's nice to at least tell someone. While it's tough to deal with when it happens, I would definitely agree with the tough truth that if people aren't going to stand by you in spite of what in most cases is a trait of yours that is completely irrelevant to them that you probably don't want to be friends with them anyway.
It's strange... if it could, the adult me would go back and not hide in high school at all and I think I'm charismatic enough now where it just wouldn't have been a big thing. I could deal with it well enough now that I'd be fine - but I couldn't have then. My best friends' little sister ended up... being outed, I guess, a little bit ago and I know things haven't been so smooth for her. The teasing(that's probably not the most precise word but let's just go with that...) bugs her in a way it wouldn't bug me, and while I kind of just have to advise her to at least appear comfortable and proud and unaffected, which I think does do a pretty good job of getting people to curb the behavior, she'd obviously be better off if they hadn't found out. I always feel for her - it was easier for me in so many ways, both because I had control of the information and could protect myself, and because it was very convenient that I was always into guys that were older than me so I never really had a thing for any classmates.
It's funny for me, too - having grown up in competitive Pokemon on some level(I think I started frequenting the community that was to be become Smogon in 2002, so 8 years ago now), coming out to my e-friends was kind of a big thing too. As I'm sure you can attest to, I'd say there's even more of the "omg (x) is so gay(especially when x is a defensive Pokemon...)" and general homophobia here than even in the cesspool that is American high schools, so I was a little leery about fessing up when LS/CFickle figured it out(it amuses me that he's still the only one, IRL or internet, who's ever figured it out without me making it obvious for them), but I ended up coming out to the Smogonites before I did to anyone IRL and it was good for me, I think. I think it sometimes causes me to be too much of a gimmick user, but my e-friends stuck by me, too. It's weird now in the role I have here, too, in that while I don't tend to be too easily offended by the general homophobia(perhaps the elitism Smogon has instilled in me allows me to look down on it) I tend to be really fucking jumpy about it on the forums because I know there's probably more of you than we realize working through this sort of thing and you don't need to be exposed to that shit. Funny how my role is shifting... it's funny, too, that the only people who ever have a "problem" with it are some of the more immature younger guys. I think you'll find as you get older this becomes less of an issue in real life, too - adults in our generation are pretty accepting about this sort of thing.
A lot of the times, people make gay jokes and use the word (BAN ME PLEASE) in front of everyone because they don't really know anyone gay. Once someone finds out someone they know is gay, it really causes them to think. "Ryan's a cool a guy, but he just told me he's gay. We've been good friends for years, but I've always been taught it's wrong." Assuming we're focusing on your friends right now, most people in our generation are really accepting. I just told a friend of mine a week or so ago that I went to a gay bar. She didn't know I was gay (she later told me she suspected), and the first words out of her mouth were "how hot were the guys there?" So yeah, what I'm getting at is that coming out will only be this huge, awkward, and tragic thing only if you want it to be. If people see how calm and collected you are about it, you'll get a response in that same way instead of "OMFG GO AWAY YOU HOMO." Trust me it works.
Now that I've been all theatrical everything Thund said here is basically 100% right. I think this is the main difference for me with how things have been in HS vs. how things have been in college/work. It's not a big deal and if you don't make it to be one usually other people won't either. Plus, well, being gay should not be your one defining characteristic anyway.
It's sort of tangential, but that concept basically of "people are just homophobes/insensitive to gays because they don't know any" is something I kind of desperately place hope in, lol. I think nowdays it's kind of important to me to be some sort of gay ambassador. I'm pretty sure I do a terrible job of this, but I find in general we're pretty good people - the general public will figure it out sooner or later.
And of course, it was in the lockeroom. -.- I didn't say anything because I was sure my Dad would kill me. In fact, he told me at a young age "If you turn out to be a (BAN ME PLEASE), I will kill you" (no lie).
Maybe it was because I wanted to be like them (physically anyway) or looking for a father-figure (weird, I know) because my Dad was definately not the best.
Now, I've been thinking about coming out. Each day I feel like I'm getting closer, but when you have a family consisting of heavily devout Christians, gay haters, and people who can't let shit go, it's just kind of hard. On top of that, I worry about the people outside of my family- what about gay bashing and other hate crimes? After all, I'm not a very big guy. I don't feel like I act feminine or anything, but people still seem to question my sexuality. My Mom even asked me if I like girls. It kind of hurts to know that people wonder and I have to deny it out of fear. I've been told by some family member (my Aunt...typos at 2am ugh) that they would love me regardless, but to be questioned makes it that much worse- like they're just waiting for conformation.
The family thing iss another area where I feel like I got off easier than I should have.
I knew I wanted to wait until I was out of high school to talk to my parents about it. I've never been that close to them or to anyone else in my family, so this was never all that huge for me - I just didn't care that much what they thought. I had planned to do what Thund suggested(and what I would suggest for you) as far as waiting until I was out on my own and had financial independence so any repercussions of telling them would be pretty irrelevant, but life kinda sent me down a different path.
I pretty much blew off HS(I mostly blame WoW for this, but honestly I think I've been proven right about how much of a waste of time it was) so I couldn't get into a lot of awesome schoosl, so I just did the basics at a really solid local CC we have for my first couple years until I could scoot off to somewhere better. I lived at home while I did this since it was cheaper(free, specifically), which delayed my master plan a bit. What really changed things for me was that I had a gay professor that I eventually ended up becoming friends with. I really looked up to him at the time. He was maybe the only fellow gay I had met in real life and really respected... it kind of changed how I thought about the whole sexuality thing, I guess. Anyway, getting to know him got me feeling more comfortable about myself, and I ended up coming out to my parents earlier than planned in what I think is the most awkward conversation I've ever had. They... sort of tried to be supportive, I guess. My parents are really Christian-conservative too so there were some.. communication barriers, I guess, but in general they stuck by me. It was really obvious from the way they talked then that they didn't really "get it", and it's been a couple years since then now and we still haven't really talked about it since(I think they're happier ignoring it), but they didn't throw me out or anything and they at least try to back me. I haven't told the rest of the family just because there's no real point - I see them like twice a year, they'd be happier not knowing in general, my parents haven't said anything about it but would clearly be happier not having to "deal with that," and I don't really care what they think - but if you have a closer relationship with some of your family members it's obviously a very different game for you.
It sounds like your Aunt(and probably your Mom) would both be pretty ok with things, though I'm not sure I would make any move until you're out on your own if you can stand it - things really are so much safer that way. If nothing else, I would just tell your Aunt for your mother's sake - I think it'd be rough on a marriage for one parent to be hiding that type of thing from the other, and telling your dad right now could be a little dangerous. But you've gotta do what's right by you - tell who you feel comfortable telling, or no one if that's what you feel more comfortable doing. I think whenever you do want to tell your dad I would try to have some other people with you - perhaps your aunt and your mother, if you've told both of them by that point.
As an anecdote that's a little less happy, but something I feel I should disclose as a reminder that it isn't always a good idea to go rushing into these things: that friend's sister I mentioned wasn't so lucky at home, either. Her mom basically played the "I don't want you to go to Hell!!" card(I think I got that one too, actually) when she found out from one of the daughter's girlfriends' parents(who sent her kid to a psychiatrist among some other fairly crazy shit) and start balling and was basically inconsolable until the daughter lied and said it was all one great big misunderstanding and she was actually straight. She still hasn't told her dad. I think her case is pretty rare - it takes a lot for a parent to turn on a kid - but I think I'd try not to do be too foolhardy with the family. Friends tend to be a lot safer to start with... tell the people you think it will be the safest to talk to to start with and work from there, and only do it when you're ready - rushing things just to rush them isn't so wise. Just remind yourself it's not really that big of a deal, it's a trait like any other, and when you're comfortable tell who you feel most comfortable telling.
And one last thing - you know, I don't think there's probably anyone who'd have just been like "oh, gay, yeah, that'd be fucking BUCKETS of fun. I'd LOVE to do that!" out of the blue, but as I've gotten older I think I've kind of understood the whole gay pride thing. Like I'm not the type of guy who'll ever be flying a rainbow flag(could we seriously not pick something better than a fucking rainbow jesus christ), but I think being gay has kind of changed my view of the world in a positive way. As a white male living in the states I definitely empathize with minorities and women with some of their class-related plights better than I would have if I didn't have to deal with any myself, and I think it makes me understand people in general better on some level. It's certainly made me tougher mentally dealing with shit occasionally, which I value even if it isn't always easy. It's not all bad, either - it's nice to have that in group, and while I might not have when I was younger, I like who I am, you know? I'm sure you will, too. Even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing.
