While I don't want to give a definitive answer about strangers, in my experience people who do that sort of thing want to revel in the attention they're getting while not taking what they say to others seriously, but there are definitely other reasons, like some people just have a hard time saying no. Regardless while i get the impulse, I don't think you should take this as a reflection of yourself or your worth.
-
Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
-
Congrats to the winners of the 2023 Smog Awards!
Lifestyle The Mental Wellness Thread
- Thread starter Rollout Shuckle
- Start date
one of my best friends moved back local again and i'm super happy about it --- i even told my friend from the earlier "Drama" posts bout it and he was lit (since we are good, just those around us want a story)
i think that might be the happy pill life needed and i can't wait to see my boy again.
i think that might be the happy pill life needed and i can't wait to see my boy again.
In regards to my last post - I think part of why this bothers me so much is how, at age 23, I still never had any kind of serious, romantic relationship. I feel very insecure about this and feel like I missed out on a lot, like having puppy love (yeah yeah puns and shit) or having these drama filled, early teens relationships. However, I think I am beginning to understand more and more why that is so
First of all, I suppose there are societal factors that have influenced this. There's a reason why there are more and more single households and why many people my age feel lonely and unable to connect. Having to live for work, the death of third locations and people becoming more and more closed off towards new relationships are important reasons for this. I never liked this realization, it made me feel like a victim without agency and whilst a lot of it is true, I don't want to be one of these Joker profile pic incels that are talking about how society is cucking them
And another reason is how, for some reason I don't fully understand, I always aimed for girls and women who were unreachable to me as a teen. Girls in relationships, who were much older than me, who had no interest in romantic relationships... Meanwhile, in retrospect, I never connected with girls who were single, my age and who I vibed with. Maybe I didn't actually want a real relationship or maybe it was self destructive behavior, something I tended to during my teens. I don't really know. And since my 20s, I haven't met many women, because of COVID and having studied at a university that was more prominent among older people who wanted to catch up on their education. So all the people I studied with were in longterm relationships or married or something. There was a single girl my age who wasn't in a relationship, and she told me she didn't feel ready for a romantic relationship, so idk. And I never went to high school, I started working at age 15, all the people there were like 30-60. Only now do I meet people my age at workplaces. I want to attend art school next year, maybe I'll have better luck there
First of all, I suppose there are societal factors that have influenced this. There's a reason why there are more and more single households and why many people my age feel lonely and unable to connect. Having to live for work, the death of third locations and people becoming more and more closed off towards new relationships are important reasons for this. I never liked this realization, it made me feel like a victim without agency and whilst a lot of it is true, I don't want to be one of these Joker profile pic incels that are talking about how society is cucking them
And another reason is how, for some reason I don't fully understand, I always aimed for girls and women who were unreachable to me as a teen. Girls in relationships, who were much older than me, who had no interest in romantic relationships... Meanwhile, in retrospect, I never connected with girls who were single, my age and who I vibed with. Maybe I didn't actually want a real relationship or maybe it was self destructive behavior, something I tended to during my teens. I don't really know. And since my 20s, I haven't met many women, because of COVID and having studied at a university that was more prominent among older people who wanted to catch up on their education. So all the people I studied with were in longterm relationships or married or something. There was a single girl my age who wasn't in a relationship, and she told me she didn't feel ready for a romantic relationship, so idk. And I never went to high school, I started working at age 15, all the people there were like 30-60. Only now do I meet people my age at workplaces. I want to attend art school next year, maybe I'll have better luck there
positive side of the mental:
me and my Pupp (basset hound so short stocky legs and floppy eared) and i just took a 2 hour nap (admittedly i was a bit lit passing out with him)
woke up got my left arm under his head, right over his ribs, and hes "cuddling me back" with his lil front legs on my shoulder/chest.
no wonder we slept so good, me and the poopah slept good as hell all cuddled up.
love that doggo, made my weekend lmao.
me and my Pupp (basset hound so short stocky legs and floppy eared) and i just took a 2 hour nap (admittedly i was a bit lit passing out with him)
woke up got my left arm under his head, right over his ribs, and hes "cuddling me back" with his lil front legs on my shoulder/chest.
no wonder we slept so good, me and the poopah slept good as hell all cuddled up.
love that doggo, made my weekend lmao.
you ever had to have almost like an "intervention" with a friend/fam member to tell them "We love you but no, you are the problem"
Hate to say it but that just happened with my lil sister cus she works herself up then gets incredibly loud and rude and disrespectful" - I can't even post some the things she's said to our own family (parents included) without risking a banhammer.
I finally had enough and had to call her out today. Like... I'm over you disrespecting everyone cus "You're going through something;" stop the strawman, I known you all your life, this is you far too often (forever), USUALLY DAILY (even for things as small as the Dog tryna say hi when you're "In a moment" - today it was someone (me - she loves subs cus she'll talk crazy but don't wanna be direct)"parked in her spot" closer to the house even tho she got home at 4am after everyone - just ridiculous, knowing we gotta let mom have the free route out, its a 2 lane, 4 car at best driveway and moms was parked up high [especially now that she's always running to check on our grandma on top of work and etc, she gotta be free to just go])... you need help - not even tryna be smart or upset ya but no one likes you when you're like this.
Hate to say it but that just happened with my lil sister cus she works herself up then gets incredibly loud and rude and disrespectful" - I can't even post some the things she's said to our own family (parents included) without risking a banhammer.
I finally had enough and had to call her out today. Like... I'm over you disrespecting everyone cus "You're going through something;" stop the strawman, I known you all your life, this is you far too often (forever), USUALLY DAILY (even for things as small as the Dog tryna say hi when you're "In a moment" - today it was someone (me - she loves subs cus she'll talk crazy but don't wanna be direct)"parked in her spot" closer to the house even tho she got home at 4am after everyone - just ridiculous, knowing we gotta let mom have the free route out, its a 2 lane, 4 car at best driveway and moms was parked up high [especially now that she's always running to check on our grandma on top of work and etc, she gotta be free to just go])... you need help - not even tryna be smart or upset ya but no one likes you when you're like this.
Last edited:
My older sister is very much like this. The thing is, she never realizes that what she's doing is fucked up. She said, verbatim, that we are all sick and fucked up and that she's the only reasonable person in the family. But like, she tried to kill a classmate in a fit of anger when she was 16. She broke my arm when I was 2 when she got jealous that our mother gave me attention. My parents never left me alone with her because of her behavior
She's 32 and she still lives with our parents, despite them having tried everything to get her out, even renting a small apartment for her that she never went to. She has no friends or loved ones. She literally just lives to eat and watch murder documentaries on Netflix. Honestly it's kinda concerning how obsessed she is with Dahmer and Bundy
I don't have any contact with her anymore since I moved out and she apparently got worse since I left. She now wants an artificial insemination because she feels bored and wants kids. Me and my parents have tried for years to get this out of her head, my parents told her they won't support her when she does this and we tried explaining and explaining to her how she isn't able to raise kids. But she's stubborn and, honestly, there's just something wrong with her
I have pretty bad depressions and anxiety, OCD and some other fucky stuff but I am still the most mentally healthy of my parent's children, which is quite fucked up when you consider how much of a mess I am
Sorry I guess I went on a little rant her. Intervention seems right in this situation. Have you considered suggesting some medical help for her? It can be insulting to many suggesting a psychologist, but doing so tactful and helping her find a place for diagnostics could help her out a great deal
I relate to this very deeply and I'm sorry you went through all that, my sister isn't "Violent" and she's just now starting to go out cus she got her license and a car for the first time ever (in her mid 20s) so she goes out on Dates and yada ya now, but forever prior? No. One of her friends had a crush on me once and she got SO MAD she was talking to me and tried to tell her vicious lies about me to get her to dislike me - the kicker, when we did talk the girl told me herself "I'd love to hang out with your sister but she never even talks to me"
So very much Anti-Social [seemingly like your sister] soul till recently (and she tries to blame her "Breaking out of her shell finally" for some of her "Ups and Downs" - you just never wanted to do anything prior. Even as a kid she'd cry and scream about going to school, later bitch about working a part time 4-5 hour a day job 2-3 times a week, and even when her best friend paid for a cruise (an experience none of us ever had) she was like "I DONT KNOW IF I REALLY WANNA GO CUS I WANT MY TIME" - all she has is "Her time")
It's funny she is the most open to trying medicine in the family and literally just got on Birth Control on a whim but if you suggest (which is funny cus as a kid SHE SWORE SHE WANTED DEPRESSION PILLS) mental health medicine now she's like NO IM GOOD I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM.
She tries to hold over my head I'm a couple years older and I am here and the girl I love has to often be elsewhere for her job - I'm only here cus Mom and Dad (WHEN DAD WAS DYING) were forced out the old home and couldnt afford anything else if I didn't help. So the idea is when (with my Dad having passed) when my Mom passes it comes down to the family and whoever wants it can pay the siblings out or all sell it together and move on.
So while not tryna be a that guy - the only reason the family has a home is cus I agreed to be here and help pay for; since my girl DOES travel for work and when she can settle down in her job we'll get a place.
Like you said about your sister my sister has no accountability and think she's justified.... If anything she gets herself so worked up then explodes ranting AT PEOPLE (not even necessarily about them all the time) but just loud and verbose FOR HOURS and essentially gaslights people so the first person to interact/respond to her outbursts is the problem and it's not her at all. Which is THEE DEFINITION OF GASLIGHTING (and no accountability)
My girl tells me all the time "I understand you helped the family for your sick father and i agree with and support that, but can't help but think that was probably you're out to NO deal with this nonsense, babe" ------ can't help but agree with her, even though I'd never take back helping my sick father.
I got my own lil heady shit and will fully admit that when between my Dad passing and (for awhile) me and my girl (together since 2011) were "Off," she lost our would've been first child cus of the extended family having some disgusting views about interracial love and we had to be homeless in my car for awhile before I came back to help and seal the deal on OWNING A HOME FINALLY rather than paying someone else's mortgage with renting. - All that to say I let drinking get me for awhile cus I was hurt, felt betrayed by family [not to mention the other goings on in that terrible time] and ofc mourning my father and child.
I wasn't always the most nicest when I was on my shit but I was never disrespectful unless disrespected.
I always been the voice to quell and calm but if it don't stop then yes I'll be the voice to remind yall this isn't fucking happening and you will stop. There is no other option, show some respect.
You just naturally are (disrespectful) for no other reason than you don't know how to handle yourself and your life. Which last I checked isn't an excuse to be shitty to anyone else. She can't even come downstairs from waking up and the dog runs up like "HELLO I MISSED YOU" without her being like "GET BACK I DONT NEED YOU NEAR ME RIGHT NOW" --- this is the dog you got as a confidant to help you cope with losing Dad too. Wtf?
Sorry for the lil rant myself, I spoke to my brother who she spent the night with last night after I finally pulled that card he said he'd talk sense into her cus he was on my side "I know what she's like she is wicked, she has no right talking to people how she does. I'll talk to her" so hopefully that works [It won't] cus last night she tried to play the "THINK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH" card and I was like
"Are you thinking about that when you belittle me and your own mother - you called your own mother that four letter S word you never should even THINK bout your mother, you've wished death on people's girlfriends, told dad you wished he'd die when he was still here and healthy cus he just was too tired to take you to the store on a whim, mocked me when younger and not working, shit on our brother for his fight against addiction (which he beat)...... you're.... just not a good person..."
I wish I had a friend. I wish someone cared about me. I wish people didn't use me. Please. Please someone care about my well being. Please someone accept me. I wish to be shown affection. I want someone to be there for me. Please someone care about me. Please someone be my friend. How many nights do I have to spend crying someone help me please is killing myself my only way of finding peace
Anyone else feel like this? Like what’s the point of living if you’re going to be struggling financially and have to work your ass off just to get the bare minimum to not go hungry. Fuck this life
Like I’m already super depressed and on top of all that I have to worry about being able to afford basic necessecities. We’ve advanced so far as a society yet many of us still have so little.
What is even the point of working? What am I living for? I’ve been working this dead end job for 9 years and have nothing to show for it. I have no skills or qualifications. I live with my mother and have absolutely no money and don’t own anything. I can’t drive or afford to.
The weekend comes and I just sit at home alone. I want to go out and maybe have a drink but I can’t do that because I have nothing. I can’t get a girlfriend because I’m a broke loser who can’t do anything for them or afford to have a life with them. The only women I’ve been with I lied to and pretended I was better.
I honestly feel being dead would be better than feeling this bitter, depressed and angry all the time. Poor people shouldn’t have children, I resent my parents for bringing me into such a shitty world.
Hope to have the courage soon
Anyone else feel like this? Like what’s the point of living if you’re going to be struggling financially and have to work your ass off just to get the bare minimum to not go hungry. Fuck this life
Like I’m already super depressed and on top of all that I have to worry about being able to afford basic necessecities. We’ve advanced so far as a society yet many of us still have so little.
What is even the point of working? What am I living for? I’ve been working this dead end job for 9 years and have nothing to show for it. I have no skills or qualifications. I live with my mother and have absolutely no money and don’t own anything. I can’t drive or afford to.
The weekend comes and I just sit at home alone. I want to go out and maybe have a drink but I can’t do that because I have nothing. I can’t get a girlfriend because I’m a broke loser who can’t do anything for them or afford to have a life with them. The only women I’ve been with I lied to and pretended I was better.
I honestly feel being dead would be better than feeling this bitter, depressed and angry all the time. Poor people shouldn’t have children, I resent my parents for bringing me into such a shitty world.
Hope to have the courage soon
I was reading recently about a psychiatrist who worked with veterans, especially from the Vietnam War. A veteran he was talking to did... well, I won't darken this space with it. But it was something abominable. And, after enough time, the veteran eventually confessed this to the psychiatrist.
How do you think the psychiatrist reacted? Was he aghast at this horrible, wicked deed? Was he worried about the man's mental state, trying to console him and reduce his guilt? Something else?
I might've expected one of the first two. But I was wrong. He was stunned not at the deed, but that, after doing and experiencing something so horrible, the veteran still confessed with remorse. The vet preserved a sense of right and wrong, since his reluctance to confess and his remorse showed that he knew how wrong his deed was. Maybe, if he abandoned right and wrong, abandoned morality and ethics, the weight of that event would be easier for him to live with, and the guilt and remorse would leave. But he didn't. As the psychiatrist said, with "enormous respect", "His soul was still alive within him."
When I read your post, your pain is not the only thing to come through. Even in the depths of your pain, your care for the welfare of others shines through. You're upset how many people in our modern society have so little, and rightfully so! It is an outrage! When talking about your desire to have a girlfriend, you focus on wanting to provide for them and not lie to them. You care about treating others well. And I'm sure you have not done anything as horrible as that vet. I am confident your soul is still alive in you.
Your soul is what is worth living for. And I pray the pain recedes enough for you to see how much your soul is worth fighting for.
https://findahelpline.com/ar
If you have moved from Argentina, https://findahelpline.com will help you find support in the country you live in.
Last edited:
I have felt this way multiple times in the past and still do from time to time. I wish I could tell you something you can do to immediatly improve to situation, but all I learned was that things will eventually become better aslong as reflect on yourself and prevail. From what I've read, you seem to already have the ability to self reflect, which is invaluable
Also, you may feel alone but there are milions of people who feel similarily. You are never truely alone, there will always be many people that will be able to understand you, and I am sure that you will eventually meet people like this. Prevail, stay strong and it will pass. Something that helped with this was spending time outside and watching animals. Helped me take my mind off and just made me feel better. Maybe this could help you, and if not, just do whatever else you enjoy to make this difficult time easier for yourself
Adeleine That's great advice coming from you. I've never seen things laid out like this. I will think about it when I feel bad again. Thank you
i like to carry a lil notebook with me cus i write and like poetry and yada ya, but also jot down thoughts and ideas
a random "voice" lobbed this thought and when i was half tired/half baked from post-work relax the body; it resonated with me so I jotted it down:
the most interesting thing about loss is how it re-defines your mind, love becomes a 4 letter word you'll pick up a sword for if you arent a "aint shit" soul - but will quickly put down if they are (time vs. trust in investment becomes a ruling factor). the reality is loss keeps us humbled and in turn fueled - if for nothing else but honor (to ourselves, those lost, those also dealing with same feelings, etc) - but that soon too will become strength; if you do it right. I won't lie to anyone; life is a series of hugs and punches in the chest, you chose the side you focus on, I know my side.
a random "voice" lobbed this thought and when i was half tired/half baked from post-work relax the body; it resonated with me so I jotted it down:
the most interesting thing about loss is how it re-defines your mind, love becomes a 4 letter word you'll pick up a sword for if you arent a "aint shit" soul - but will quickly put down if they are (time vs. trust in investment becomes a ruling factor). the reality is loss keeps us humbled and in turn fueled - if for nothing else but honor (to ourselves, those lost, those also dealing with same feelings, etc) - but that soon too will become strength; if you do it right. I won't lie to anyone; life is a series of hugs and punches in the chest, you chose the side you focus on, I know my side.
recently refound a girl i went out with and albeit never went DEEP i loved her energy and (calling myself out) she took me saying "I only got card (cus she og wanted to split)" as she needed to pay and me being like "noooooooooo my intention was to pay on my card cus you're cool"
even if we just stay friendly im happy cus that mishap bothers me. since i do believe a man should pay for "the initial interests" dinners at the very least lol. i use to joke to her "i owe you 2 dinners to make that up" - ima sucker for the "quiet until they like someone good girl realm", she was peak that --- now she does tarot card readings and such. so mad that miscommunication made me look stupid smh.
even if we just stay friendly im happy cus that mishap bothers me. since i do believe a man should pay for "the initial interests" dinners at the very least lol. i use to joke to her "i owe you 2 dinners to make that up" - ima sucker for the "quiet until they like someone good girl realm", she was peak that --- now she does tarot card readings and such. so mad that miscommunication made me look stupid smh.
my great uncle (Mom's Uncle) passed away last night, he's been a staple around the family get togethers forever.
I didn't have the same level of "Bond" with him as my Mom did (he stepped in as a father figure for her when her's died when she was 18) even knew a younger version of my Dad (Who was still getting into trouble back then, long before he met my Mom) cus he was a cop busting his ass about "I know you're mother, what are you doing rn Billy?" [when they got married he shook my father's hand and gave his blessing]
He had lost his wife and then daughter two months apart back in late 2014-early 2015 and you can tell it hurt him deeply (as it would anyone) he spoke openly about "Why would God allow something like that to happen?" and you can tell he longed to see them again.
Considering what all happened and how it went (infections and such) seemed he wasn't - like tryna "be out" but def didn't wanna "be here." So as sad as the loss is in another way I'm happy for him he's finally able to be with who he wants to again since he's been so hurt by it for so long.
I told my Mom i'll probably take the bereavement time more for her than anyone else cus he meant so much to her, and maybe help her feel a bit better getting shit done she's been wanting to for months.
Me myself I'm just bummed for my Mom more than anything - she'd get so excited anytime he'd stop by and was always all smiles when he was around. So gunna use the time for her and to rest my beat up body (Esp right shoulder).
RIP Uncle Rol.
I didn't have the same level of "Bond" with him as my Mom did (he stepped in as a father figure for her when her's died when she was 18) even knew a younger version of my Dad (Who was still getting into trouble back then, long before he met my Mom) cus he was a cop busting his ass about "I know you're mother, what are you doing rn Billy?" [when they got married he shook my father's hand and gave his blessing]
He had lost his wife and then daughter two months apart back in late 2014-early 2015 and you can tell it hurt him deeply (as it would anyone) he spoke openly about "Why would God allow something like that to happen?" and you can tell he longed to see them again.
Considering what all happened and how it went (infections and such) seemed he wasn't - like tryna "be out" but def didn't wanna "be here." So as sad as the loss is in another way I'm happy for him he's finally able to be with who he wants to again since he's been so hurt by it for so long.
I told my Mom i'll probably take the bereavement time more for her than anyone else cus he meant so much to her, and maybe help her feel a bit better getting shit done she's been wanting to for months.
Me myself I'm just bummed for my Mom more than anything - she'd get so excited anytime he'd stop by and was always all smiles when he was around. So gunna use the time for her and to rest my beat up body (Esp right shoulder).
RIP Uncle Rol.
the nature of humanity is such that every so often someone invents buddhism again
I heard of the principles of budhism couple of months ago and I felt like it was genuinenly genius. Like it directly answered all of my struggles. It seems like a legitimate way towards happiness. When I read about how these principles are just regular words that literally mean what they're about and how budhism by itself doesn't have anything supernatural in it, I found that so interesting. It's simple to understand and apply
But I still reject it for myself. Dissapointment is painful and ambition is never fully satiated, but I feel that by forgoing all my desires, I would avoid a legitimate part of myself. Buddha himself has said that there are many ways towards happiness. I guess I will have to take my own, even if it is a painful one, I will still be mine
So to be less philosophical, psychedelics and shrooms? I've been reading for a few years how they allegedly help with mental health issues, but this died down recently. I feel like it's just people who think they found enlightenment after having tried out conciousness expanding stuff for the first time. I don't have any current interest in these things, but I wonder, did any of you make experiences with it?
I'm going cold turkey on alcohol and weed for a while, along with some other things that won't be named here. I haven't been liking how my body and brain have been feeling over the last month or so. Those on here who know me know that I'm a prolific person, but usually, I do my work in huge bursts (whether it be Pokemon analysis, college work, music, writing, etc).
I'm finding more and more that balance is a really, really difficult thing for me and it's easy to get sidetracked
I'm finding more and more that balance is a really, really difficult thing for me and it's easy to get sidetracked
last Friday i returned from a week long business trip that ended up being one of the worst weeks I've ever had in my life. i was having severe panic attacks and had to struggle through the days, sometimes just sitting in the bathroom for 30 minutes until they passed. I wanted nothing to do but come home, so I ended up cutting the trip a day short even if it meant spending way too much money on a last minute flight. when i got home Friday i was greeted by my girlfriend at the airport and just grateful to be home.
the next morning, after we were intimate, she told me she was breaking up with me because she wanted to move back home. i was shocked and in disbelief as this came out of nowhere. her mental health has not been great lately so initially i thought maybe this was a flight or fight response, but the more we talked i realized that this was something she thought about and was sure she wanted to do. the last week as one might imagine has been extremely tough. grief is terrible and one of the worst feelings in the world. I've spent half my days just in bed trying to understand what I did and why I wasn't enough. contrary to my posting habits, i think most people would consider me a very nice person, but being blindsided by these sorts of things can make you question a lot about yourself.
as the days went on, i noticed she seemed different and distant, as though she moved on. sparing all the details, i learned on Thursday she cheated on me while I was gone after a lot of lies and constant denial. while it wasn't physical cheating, part of the reason she broke up with me is because she wants to be with this other guy. initially i had planned to let her stay until this coming Monday, but when I learned this, i told her she needed to be out by the end of the night, and she was. Yesterday was the first day I had lived alone again for the last year and a half.
in a short few days i feel like i have already made good progress in moving on. I know I'll have my bad days and think about her from time to time, asking myself what went wrong, but at the end of the day knowing I was cheated on has made this so much easier for me. I realize there may not have been anything I could do to save this relationship if this was always something she was capable of. last night i saw an old friend over drinks and had a great time. equally, my friends from this community have been just as supportive in helping me get through this.
what irks me the most is just the timing of this all. everything from this happening the day after my trip, the day we were intimate, and a week before the one year anniversary of my dad's passing (Monday). it's really easy to feel deflated as all of these things are happening/happened at once, and I can't help but feel like maybe more bad things are coming my way. but it is what it is. I know I'll get through this and grow to be a better person. it might take me some time and that's okay. im trying to tell myself that it's okay to grieve, to cry, and to be angry. there are things in life we can't control and we just gotta take life one day at a time. that's all i got, there's no happy ending or words of wisdom here. i just wanted to share a small part of my life with strangers.
thanks for reading.
the next morning, after we were intimate, she told me she was breaking up with me because she wanted to move back home. i was shocked and in disbelief as this came out of nowhere. her mental health has not been great lately so initially i thought maybe this was a flight or fight response, but the more we talked i realized that this was something she thought about and was sure she wanted to do. the last week as one might imagine has been extremely tough. grief is terrible and one of the worst feelings in the world. I've spent half my days just in bed trying to understand what I did and why I wasn't enough. contrary to my posting habits, i think most people would consider me a very nice person, but being blindsided by these sorts of things can make you question a lot about yourself.
as the days went on, i noticed she seemed different and distant, as though she moved on. sparing all the details, i learned on Thursday she cheated on me while I was gone after a lot of lies and constant denial. while it wasn't physical cheating, part of the reason she broke up with me is because she wants to be with this other guy. initially i had planned to let her stay until this coming Monday, but when I learned this, i told her she needed to be out by the end of the night, and she was. Yesterday was the first day I had lived alone again for the last year and a half.
in a short few days i feel like i have already made good progress in moving on. I know I'll have my bad days and think about her from time to time, asking myself what went wrong, but at the end of the day knowing I was cheated on has made this so much easier for me. I realize there may not have been anything I could do to save this relationship if this was always something she was capable of. last night i saw an old friend over drinks and had a great time. equally, my friends from this community have been just as supportive in helping me get through this.
what irks me the most is just the timing of this all. everything from this happening the day after my trip, the day we were intimate, and a week before the one year anniversary of my dad's passing (Monday). it's really easy to feel deflated as all of these things are happening/happened at once, and I can't help but feel like maybe more bad things are coming my way. but it is what it is. I know I'll get through this and grow to be a better person. it might take me some time and that's okay. im trying to tell myself that it's okay to grieve, to cry, and to be angry. there are things in life we can't control and we just gotta take life one day at a time. that's all i got, there's no happy ending or words of wisdom here. i just wanted to share a small part of my life with strangers.
thanks for reading.
That is a very important realization and something that's very helpful when going to grieve
It's natural to blame yourself during a breakup, but it's always two people that are involved and it was her decision that was made independent from you. We all grieve in this time but such events are important for growth and you'll be stronger by the end of it
I unironically really needed to see thisWholesome meme I found. Remember that if you’re struggling, take it slow.
ZippyDoo200
Banned deucer.
I really empathize with this post. Well said.
i spoke to my relationship with the girl i spent so much time/lost a child with (literally probably 3/4ths of my "love life" LOL)etc , we been okay but a lil busy lately so not talking as much cus she's tending to Mom, me working and my Mom/sister having their things but have the daily check ins ofc.
I had a terrible dream that related to YEARS AGO and it was one of those "You know it's not a Deja vu dream cus there was some weirdness that makes it obvious BS [in this dream i had some Fast & Furious potential crash scene but pulled it out flawless (and i'm not even big into those movies LMFAO), but random plot twist after still made you upset how it went" regarding her (nothing like loss or etc but more a runback of past issues) and i woke up from it a lil tight and had to be like "no, that's your weird brain's thought, not her. only reason yall been so friendly is yall mutually see some growth from the last time"
I almost told her today but didn't want her to take it wrong. Like I said we've grown a lot from the worst days of both our lives, but I felt bad today that dream even happened. I hated it
.
Think this is one that was like... a "Devil lob" tryna test if I believe in the progress or nah. We both spoke to growth needed for a successful reconnection, I'ma take it as my brain FKn with me cus now is the first chance in awhile it seems a real chance.
I had a terrible dream that related to YEARS AGO and it was one of those "You know it's not a Deja vu dream cus there was some weirdness that makes it obvious BS [in this dream i had some Fast & Furious potential crash scene but pulled it out flawless (and i'm not even big into those movies LMFAO), but random plot twist after still made you upset how it went" regarding her (nothing like loss or etc but more a runback of past issues) and i woke up from it a lil tight and had to be like "no, that's your weird brain's thought, not her. only reason yall been so friendly is yall mutually see some growth from the last time"
I almost told her today but didn't want her to take it wrong. Like I said we've grown a lot from the worst days of both our lives, but I felt bad today that dream even happened. I hated it
.Think this is one that was like... a "Devil lob" tryna test if I believe in the progress or nah. We both spoke to growth needed for a successful reconnection, I'ma take it as my brain FKn with me cus now is the first chance in awhile it seems a real chance.
someone recently (well about past year) been egging my moms/my car and i think i know who - won't claim till i know (but i know)
think its a former girl i (literally only spoke with awhile and it ended, then went on to be with my friend but that didn't go over well- yada ya)
way too much HS BS drama for all sides being well out of High School. and tbh I don't wanna be involved.
the egging started once me and that girl stopped talking (thought it was cordial) - i legit hope i'm wrong but after my mom shown me the car and actions off the camera, it's either her or someone completely random with a similar car and for the life of me i have no idea what especially my mother wouldve done to make someone be that petty and childish.
edit* altered cus I was still a lil tight when i og posted, all that wasn't needed. but still frustrating.
think its a former girl i (literally only spoke with awhile and it ended, then went on to be with my friend but that didn't go over well- yada ya)
way too much HS BS drama for all sides being well out of High School. and tbh I don't wanna be involved.
the egging started once me and that girl stopped talking (thought it was cordial) - i legit hope i'm wrong but after my mom shown me the car and actions off the camera, it's either her or someone completely random with a similar car and for the life of me i have no idea what especially my mother wouldve done to make someone be that petty and childish.
edit* altered cus I was still a lil tight when i og posted, all that wasn't needed. but still frustrating.
Last edited: