My older sister is very much like this. The thing is, she never realizes that what she's doing is fucked up. She said, verbatim, that we are all sick and fucked up and that she's the only reasonable person in the family. But like, she tried to kill a classmate in a fit of anger when she was 16. She broke my arm when I was 2 when she got jealous that our mother gave me attention. My parents never left me alone with her because of her behavior
She's 32 and she still lives with our parents, despite them having tried everything to get her out, even renting a small apartment for her that she never went to. She has no friends or loved ones. She literally just lives to eat and watch murder documentaries on Netflix. Honestly it's kinda concerning how obsessed she is with Dahmer and Bundy
I don't have any contact with her anymore since I moved out and she apparently got worse since I left. She now wants an artificial insemination because she feels bored and wants kids. Me and my parents have tried for years to get this out of her head, my parents told her they won't support her when she does this and we tried explaining and explaining to her how she isn't able to raise kids. But she's stubborn and, honestly, there's just something wrong with her
I have pretty bad depressions and anxiety, OCD and some other fucky stuff but I am still the most mentally healthy of my parent's children, which is quite fucked up when you consider how much of a mess I am
Sorry I guess I went on a little rant her. Intervention seems right in this situation. Have you considered suggesting some medical help for her? It can be insulting to many suggesting a psychologist, but doing so tactful and helping her find a place for diagnostics could help her out a great deal
I relate to this very deeply and I'm sorry you went through all that, my sister isn't "Violent" and she's just now starting to go out cus she got her license and a car for the first time ever (in her mid 20s) so she goes out on Dates and yada ya now, but forever prior? No. One of her friends had a crush on me once and she got SO MAD she was talking to me and tried to tell her vicious lies about me to get her to dislike me - the kicker, when we did talk the girl told me herself "I'd love to hang out with your sister but she never even talks to me"
So very much Anti-Social [seemingly like your sister] soul till recently (and she tries to blame her "Breaking out of her shell finally" for some of her "Ups and Downs" - you just never wanted to do anything prior. Even as a kid she'd cry and scream about going to school, later bitch about working a part time 4-5 hour a day job 2-3 times a week, and even when her best friend paid for a cruise (an experience none of us ever had) she was like
"I DONT KNOW IF I REALLY WANNA GO CUS I WANT MY TIME" - all she has is "Her time")
It's funny she is the most open to trying medicine in the family and literally just got on Birth Control on a whim but if you suggest (which is funny cus as a kid SHE SWORE SHE WANTED DEPRESSION PILLS) mental health medicine now she's like NO IM GOOD I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM.
She tries to hold over my head I'm a couple years older and I am here and the girl I love has to often be elsewhere for her job - I'm only here cus Mom and Dad
(WHEN DAD WAS DYING) were forced out the old home and couldnt afford anything else if I didn't help. So the idea is when (with my Dad having passed) when my Mom passes it comes down to the family and whoever wants it can pay the siblings out or all sell it together and move on.
So while not tryna be a
that guy - the only reason the family has a home is cus I agreed to be here and help pay for; since my girl DOES travel for work and when she can settle down in her job we'll get a place.
Like you said about your sister my sister has no accountability and think she's justified.... If anything she gets herself so worked up then explodes ranting AT PEOPLE (not even necessarily about them all the time) but just loud and verbose FOR HOURS and essentially gaslights people so the first person to interact/respond to her outbursts is the problem and it's not her at all. Which is
THEE DEFINITION OF GASLIGHTING (and no accountability)
My girl tells me all the time "I understand you helped the family for your sick father and i agree with and support that, but can't help but think that was probably you're out to NO deal with this nonsense, babe" ------ can't help but agree with her, even though I'd never take back helping my sick father.
I got my own lil heady shit and will fully admit that when between my Dad passing and (for awhile) me and my girl (together since 2011) were "Off," she lost our would've been first child cus of the extended family having some disgusting views about interracial love and we had to be homeless in my car for awhile before I came back to help and seal the deal on OWNING A HOME FINALLY rather than paying someone else's mortgage with renting. - All that to say I let drinking get me for awhile cus I was hurt, felt betrayed by family [not to mention the other goings on in that terrible time] and ofc mourning my father and child.
I wasn't always the most nicest when I was on my shit but I was never disrespectful unless disrespected.
I always been the voice to quell and calm but if it don't stop then yes I'll be the voice to remind yall this isn't fucking happening and you will stop. There is no other option, show some respect.
You just naturally are (disrespectful) for no other reason than you don't know how to handle yourself and your life. Which last I checked isn't an excuse to be shitty to anyone else. She can't even come downstairs from waking up and the dog runs up like "HELLO I MISSED YOU" without her being like "GET BACK I DONT NEED YOU NEAR ME RIGHT NOW" --- this is the dog you got as a confidant to help you cope with losing Dad too. Wtf?
Sorry for the lil rant myself, I spoke to my brother who she spent the night with last night after I finally pulled that card he said he'd talk sense into her cus he was on my side "I know what she's like she is wicked, she has no right talking to people how she does. I'll talk to her" so hopefully that works
[It won't] cus last night she tried to play the "THINK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH" card and I was like
"Are you thinking about that when you belittle me and your own mother - you called your own mother that four letter S word you never should even THINK bout your mother, you've wished death on people's girlfriends, told dad you wished he'd die when he was still here and healthy cus he just was too tired to take you to the store on a whim, mocked me when younger and not working, shit on our brother for his fight against addiction (which he beat)...... you're.... just not a good person..."